T
Story
Thnickels
In the HTML there's a cool comment

      <!-- Hello this is Theo. Yes I know how to do web design. -->
      <!-- You have found my secret message. -->
      <!-- It is a coin emoticon picture. -->
      <!--
                     ______________
        __,.,---'''''              '''''---..._
     ,-'                                       '`-.
    |                      ONE                     |
    |                    THNICKEL                  ,
    |'-.._                                    __,,-
    |      ''`---.....______________.....---''     |
    |                                              |
    |                                              |
    |                                              |
    |                                              |
    |                                              |
    |                                              |
    |                                              |
    |                                              |
    |                                              |
     '-.._                                   __,,-`
          ''`---.....______________.....---''
    -->
That "stretching" (!) the definition of "emoticon." I would call it ASCII art.
it's an emothickon
If it was emoticon-sized then you wouldn't be able to appreciate the tasteful thickness of some wide wampum.

    ()_)
... which makes it grrrrreat
Proudly built with Frontpage 98 ... I nearly spit my coffee.
This is exactly what the internet should be.
It made me happy to see it and updated in 2025. I miss this internet.
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[dead]
Hello This is Theo. I have paused sale of the Coins to handle pre-orders. There are some left for Later. Thank You for your interest in substantial coinage
  • a_c
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I like your page. Wish more web pages are like that. Would you ship to the UK when open to order again?
YES--I HAVE ALREADY SENT SOME THERE
The man, myth, and legend himself! Can I get a coin?
I will (benevolently) accept a trade of some of your thin coins for a thick one. Next week1

P.S. It will require aLARGE quantity of thin coins, due to their relative worthlessness and pathetic Nature

Where may I send the thin coins or will digital coins suffice?
  • lxgr
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Would feeble personal cheques or money orders be acceptable too, despite featuring at least 50% fewer dimensions?
iF THE BANK ACCOUNT BACKING THE CHEQUE IS NOT SIMILARLY enfeebled
  • lxgr
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Backed by the full faith and credit of a person you met on the Internet.
Love your page man! xD
  • wsve
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Do you plan to branch out to new coin lines?
Yes I am considering an annual release of thicker coins nickels are not the only coin suffering from slight stature
Theo: I'm not sure if you still read this echo, but I've been trying to call you about my pre-order, but it looks like your BBS is still down. If you can get back to me, send me netmail. I'm at 1:342/76 for Fido and 11:420/69 for MJNet.

-- SLMR/2 2.4b Origin: Sunnyside Acres -- (203) 555-1212 -- 1:342/76

Windows is not a virus, viruses DO something.

  • crike
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He’s busy minting with his hammer.
Hello Mr. Prod,

I do not understand your message but you may send me an e-Mail or reach me here

I like the throwback 1998 design while it's created in 2025. They got it down even to the colored grain on the photographs and text with jpeg artifacts on them - even though that is something that actually did improve in 2025 :)
> that is something that actually did improve in 2025

Aye, but the old skool way fits the overall aesthetic better. They've even got a few animated GIFs.

I actually really love the way this site looks - I miss the days when most websites looking something like this, especially where they've avoided going full Christmas tree with the design. And look at how fast it loads.

  • qsort
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It might be 1998 design, but I'd much rather visit a 1998 website than the vast majority of "modern" stuff. My other screen has Teams on it and without a shred of irony and before accounting for the waste of resources, that website looks way better to me than an allegedly professional application does.
It hotlinks geocities via the wayback machine cache. I'd tut but hotlinking others' random images is very on-brand for 90's web design too.
Admins/mods: you should strip the Beehiiv link id from the link. https://thick-coins.net/
And HN users should run the "ClearURLs" extension[1] (or similar) to automatically strip these and other tracking links from their browser.

Or at least read the URL they've entered when posting and manually prune unnecessary parameters.

[1]: https://addons.mozilla.org/en-US/firefox/addon/clearurls/

  • lxgr
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Or consider using Firefox, which has a native "Copy clean link" context menu option. Very useful!
My bad. Do they make this for Chrome?
I believe brave has this functionality, and an adblocker
Only until it affects Google's bottom line.
Whoa the list of required permissions for you extension is long and scary.
It is a "Recommended" extension by Firefox which means:

> The Firefox team, along with community input, handpicks each extension and conducts manual security reviews to ensure they comply with policies before being awarded the “Recommended” status.

https://support.mozilla.org/en-US/kb/add-on-badges#w_recomme...

Dang...sure would like some thnickels of my own. After that tree fell on my house it is really windy here. I could use something heavy to hold down my punch cards.
I suggest buying a Three Wolves t-shirt.

I once saw a guy in a similar predicament. To address this, he donned his Three Wolves shirt and stood in an empty meadow by his house. Within 15 minutes there were 10-12 attractive women (some single, some not) circling him in a tight formation.

He returned to his house and sat near the pile of punch cards (or coupons, I forget). His ad hoc harem sat as well so they could study his chiseled features, which kept the coupons safe from blowing away.

I've heard that although the coupons have long-since expired, the women happily remain.

Legend. I could use a harem too. These punch cards aren't going to punch themselves.
Your unexpected anecdote perfectly encapsulates why I love HN!
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I love where he describes his minting facility:

"My new state of some art facility is equipped with several tools and a powerful workhorse (me)!"

I think this is a joke by Alan Wagner who goes by the handle truewagner. https://truewagner.com/ . You'll have to Google his socials to find his art.
  • n2d4
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Almost — it was made by Legboot, who makes similarly weird stuff, but to my knowledge is not the same person https://x.com/LegbootLegit
Thanks for the pointer! I hadn't heard of Legboot.

Ken M. is another name to watch out for, if you like this kind of thing.

Yup. This supposed exchange with his neighbor making the coins is pretty amusing. Explanations the note on the website about the neighbor not having given them back yet. https://x.com/LegbootLegit/status/1919745971673551192
I could not find any direct evidence but it's a good theory. Legboot and Wagner sometimes comment on each other's (uniquely similar) stuff. This also seems like an evolution of Wagner's "Williamcoin". Compare:

https://old.reddit.com/r/Killtony/comments/1i9czr5/williamco...

https://old.reddit.com/r/TrueWagner/comments/1ld4lix/big_upd...

  • mkmk
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The best giveaway is that the sentences are short and punchy. If it were made by the character it claims to be made by, it would actually devolve into a long ramble, and nobody would make it to the bottom of the page.
  • lqet
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> Website proudly built with FrontPage 98.
You know it’s old school when it’s not “built with love”. :)
"Built with ♥ by our code monkeys"
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"Buy me a coffee"
I proudly built my grandpa's photography website with a sheet-fed scanner and a copy of FrontPage 98 when I was in the third grade. Sadly it was hosted on the municipal utility commission's site and wasn't crawled by Archive.org so it's lost to time :-(.
Takes me back to grade 9 and doing a group project in the library where everyone had to make a website on their topics in FrontPage. Whoever came up with that idea must have a tech true believer gen-Xer. It was actually kinda fun.
One of the best things about FrontPage is the book that Charles Ferguson wrote about starting it, building it, and selling it to Microsoft: High Stakes, No Prisoners: A Winner's Tale of Greed and Glory in the Internet Wars.
I miss this web.
Start something in neocities and join a webring!
No you don't. The web misses you.
Apparently it still exists! My friend keeps trying to get me to join his webring, whatever that is, sounds like a potential way to connect together websites like this though.
This what I miss about what the internet used to be.
Since there's no specific verb in the Latin motto, perhaps it should be in the nominative ("nummi crassiores omnibus")?
Romanes eunt domus!
People called Romans they go the house??
"Romanian people go home"
Very amateur latinist but I'd say it works as Accusative of Exclamation with an implied "dō"
Sadly I missed the window for thnickle pre orders but hopefully I'll be around for the thennies if the fog doesnt get me by then
It's only a matter of Thimes.
eventually, we'll have thalers (again)
  • nsb1
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But why not 'Thickel'?? It was right there!
Because "thnickel" is funnier.
Too close to thinckels. You might order the wrong ones.
Shades of "you need a thneed"
Because it's a pun on his name, I would think.

THeo NICHOLS -> THNICHOLS -> THNICKELS

... no?

This is one of the best things I have ever seen.
the design is old but it's marketing is very modern. showing feet to get money from strangers is very contemporary.
It's an urban legend at the very least that you can improve the power of your punch by grasping a coin roll. I'm not so sure it's good for your hands but unlike a knife or brass knuckles you have some deniability. (Reminds me of the time that the store manager of a supermarket wrongly thought I was shoplifting and he followed me out with his clipboard which I'm sure he planned to whack me with and say it was an accident if I gave him any trouble.)
A roll of coins, or any other heavy object, will significantly increase your punching power. Short of ninjas or mma fighters, the average person doesnt have the twitch ability to throw a significant punch. By adding mass, you increase power without needing the speed. Hands are very light. Even a small mass increase will make a big difference.
Yup. In fact, while boxing gloves are ostensibly for the protection of the fighters hands, the increased mass (approx 10oz for heaver weight classes) significantly ups the chance of a concussive strike and/or knockout.

So... it is kind of a mixed bag in terms of if they actually make fights safer.

Relatedly: - The padding in fights is much lighter than in practice or sparring. The added weight is good for conditioning, blunts sharp impacts, and slows down your speed. - If you spar anyone, you're expected to have at _least_ 14oz gloves. If your gym says otherwise, don't spar there (and arguably, don't train anywhere that doesn't take safety seriously). - Luis Resto, a boxer, was jailed for swapping the padding in his gloves with plaster. He ended the career and permanently damaged the eyesight of his opponent, Billy Collins Jr.
This seems a bit arbitrary since MMA gloves are lighter than boxing gloves. If you spar someone at an MMA gym you'll be throwing the exact same punches, but you won't be using 14 oz gloves.
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I thought it was more because they can punch harder without breaking their hands.
Modern gloves are to spread out the impact to prevent cuts, blood, which was not allowed on TV once upon a time. The big puffy gloves only appeared when boxing looked to mainstream itself, to move out of the bars and become broadcast-quality entertainment.
That protection mostly comes from wraps, which you wear under your gloves
Well, you're right about ninjas. They have Real Ultimate Power, this website told me so: https://realultimatepower.net/ (Don't click unless you're ready to get pumped!)
Learning how to throw a punch isn't that much work and gives you a huge multiple on power output.

Also throwing a bare knuckle punch against someone's head has a large likelihood of the puncher breaking multiple bones, though depending on the outcome that may be preferable to other alternatives.

Most people tend to punch with a loose hand to the top of the head: this simultaneously increases the chance of breaking their hand; reduces the impact force; and, strikes one of the most insensitive & hardest parts of the body (the skull). Trained fighters are targeting an untucked chin with a short high acceleration punch (jab, uppercut), with a tight fist. It is technically very challenging to do this, even for professionals.

In general: use your sneakers; if necessary, push opponents away with with your palms and tightly held fingers.

> In general: use your sneaker

This is indeed the 1st, 2nd, and frequently 3rd, suggested strategy from any good self defense teacher!

Nice, this knowledge will help me grab my keys in some self defense scenario. Will practice on sporting bag to avoid injury and verify force increase.
OK, "urban legend at the very least" is a confusing way of putting things, it's kind of like saying "this is false at the very least, possibly even true!" (in this case it's true)
I’ll concede it was a poor choice of language. I heard about it first in the 1980s but looking for confirmation I could only find low quality evidence such as discussions on Reddit, quora and the like. No newspaper reports, no confessions that “I broke somebody’s nose”, no criminal charges, no discussions by martial arts instructors, nothing.
No ridges on the sides? This could be be trouble!
Usd nickles have smooth edges.
more aerodynamic
  • korse
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Has anyone called the listed phone number?
If you thought getting hit with a sock full regular nickels was bad, you ain’t seen nothing yet!
I want a thnickel so bad, hit me up when you start taking orders again
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This is the internet i'll miss when it is fully drowned in ML slop.
  • gtbcb
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How much were they?
  • CSSer
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The design is ancient, but the dates are current.
the Tweet about his neighbor suing him over thnickels self-injury tho ... https://x.com/LegbootLegit/status/1919745971673551192
Coin.
you know what -- hell ya
  • xnx
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How does this website load so fast? Must be some advanced framework with JIT edge hydration. /s
> Website proudly built with FrontPage 98
You know how antiques have a binomial distribution of value over time? They are valuable when new or very old, but trash when freshly obsolete.

I think classic style websites are going to come around. Not quite space jam whacky era but better mother fucking website for sure

The success of NeoCities and static blog sites in general suggests you’re correct. Best of all, AI can’t produce sites that awesomely terrible - it’s a hallmark of authentic human creativity, under construction banners and all.
  • zxexz
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I can’t produce a website that is half as endearing and fun as my 8yo self’s first attempt around y2k after earnestly reading my dad’s copy of “HTML For the World Wide Web” by Elizabeth Castro. The excitement of page counters, discovering CGI, even creating a really bad click which didn’t two time with JavaScript.
> Best of all, AI can’t produce sites that awesomely terrible

I don’t have time (or enough interest) to try it, but I’d be surprised if they couldn’t with some half-decent prompting

Is that a new LLM code assistant?
Given the audience on HN I expect will be up on Hugging Face within an hour or so… :)
trained with data up to 1999.
Now you're on to something.
Has to be Rust based SSR using a custom WebRTC based transfer technology.
I'm going to be using "JIT edge hydration" from now on, thanks
[dead]
I like your joke and agree wholeheartedly with your point, but it is awfully difficult to upvote a comment that contains “/s”. Usually that’s an auto-downvote.

Just let your comment stand. You don’t need to call attention to the fact that it’s a joke.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Poe%27s_law
The Paradox of acheron: In order to point out character sequences that are insufferable in a comment, one's comment must also bear the insufferable character sequence.
you would be both surprised and deeply sad by how many downvotes and comments they would get if they removed the /s
So, no "thicc" jokes yet? Come on, people!
No need, the pun is in the title / on the website already.
I like the vibe, but is this vibe coded?
No, the footer says it was made in Microsoft Frontpage 98.
The way Frontpage would vomit in the source code was the OG AI hallucination.
the O.G. vscode!